By fabswingers ni doing this, you can get off the emotional roller coaster. It’s not about you. Remind yourself that they are the ones that have a problem connecting emotionally with others at a deeper level. There’s nothing wrong with you! This can be super challenging to not take their actions personally and may take a conscious effort to set aside your initial emotional reaction.
Sometimes, adopting a mindset of empathy towards that person can really help you rise above your own feelings about the situation. If you can take comfort in the fact that you are the bigger person, this can help you set aside your emotions and not take it personally.
2. Don’t Try to Make Them Understand Your Feelings
Trying to instill empathy or insights in them is a waste of your time and energy. This will only increase their anger and judgement. It will become quite cyclical, as you try to make them understand you and having them react without empathy.
3. Talk About Facts with Them
Instead of talking to them about how you feel, or how something they did or said made you feel, talk about facts and what you think. It’s easier to communicate this way because they won’t feel blamed or shamed. This is critical for keeping lines of communication open.
Lower your expectations of the person. It can be easy to hold the person to the same standard as. you might hold yourself, but their lack of empathy will continue to leave you feeling disappointed. Setting reasonable expectations on your interactions with the person will help you manage your emotions when dealing with them.
When speaking facts to the person, try to modulate how you display your emotions. It can be especially challenging, as you might be going through a difficult time, but try to remain neutral and limit large displays of emotions.
4. If You Don’t Live with This Person, Try to Distance Yourself from Their Company
You don’t have to end the friendship or stop visiting your family member, but you need to set some boundaries and be mindful of your interaction with them. Keep the connection superficial to avoid arguments and don’t expect depth and understanding.
You will need to come to terms with the idea that you may on have a superficial relationship with this person and that they may not meet the needs you expected.
It is okay to transition this person from friend to acquaintance. Shared friend groups can create challenges when trying to limit contact with someone, so making your relationship very light and surface may be the best way to go.
Distancing yourself from family can be more challenging emotionally, depending on your situation. You deserve to have supportive relationships in your life and that includes family. We often have complicated histories with our family members, making it challenging to create the distance we need. Be mindful that you deserve nothing but the best from your relationships, as you navigate limiting contact with relationships that aren’t serving you.
5. Cultivate or Nurture Relationships with People Who You Trust
To fill your emotional cup, it’s. a great idea to spend time with people who you trust and who make you feel safe so that you can feel comfortable sharing your inner world and your feelings with them. These are people who might have shown signs of empathy in the past.
These are the relationships that will help you work through the feelings you are experiencing from the challenges you are having from the person who isn’t showing empathy.